My prank call!

Hey friends.....so I am so lame, and really tard-ish-o-lous. For real I made a phone call and this is what I did.

{ring ring}
"hello"
"hey whats up Heidi?" says the lame me {gasp}
"this isn't Heidi this is the Christensens." says Heidi
"whatever Heidi..you so can't disguise your voice from me!" says lame-o me.
"this is the Christensens" Heidi replies.
"Heidi your are so full of TRASH...I know this is you." announces
lame-ish-o-lous self
"this isn't Heidi...it's the Christensens." repeats Heidi
"Heidi you're such a dork....."
..................Silence......... "okay Christensens...have Heidi call Kandis.........." SILENCE
"Hello Heidi?"
"Heidi...you there?"
"Heidi?"
Heidi hung up on me.....wait...I look at the phone...guess what? I didn't call Heidi...apparently I called the Christensens! Who are the Christensens? I have no clue...but I told them they are full of Trash!

Oh me Oh my...I think I win the award for the biggest dork-o-la- alive!

Oh Christmas Tree

Yes Friends I agree it is way to early for Christmas music. However my little cutie pants Elle doesn't think so!

I would like to leave you with the lyrics of her version of "Oh Christmas Tree" that I heard her singing last night. (please note...she has no idea what she is singing just singing what she thinks she hears...)

"Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas, how lovely are our crotches"
Bwahhhhhhhaaaa
Don't tell me you didn't laugh...cause I don't care who you are..that is funny!

Ed Statistics

My Therepist gave me this the other day I and I thought I would share these statistics with all of you.  I am sure 99% of you out there are not aware of these statistics.
So here goes!
{I want to start a discussion in my comments about these...and what YOU think}
Battling Misperceptions

*Average American women is 5 '4 164 pounds and a size 14

*12 years ago the average American women was 5 '4 140 pounds...caused by dieting flucuations.

*Average model is 5'11 112 pounds and a size 2

*Only 1.8% of women in the world NATURALLY have this body type

*since the 1900's this si the thineest women in the media have been, while this is the larges the average women have been.

*Average Male 5'9 and weighs 180pounds

*Male Model is 5'11-6'2 and weighs 180 pounds

*1959-1996 60% of Miss America's and 69% of playboy centerfolds were 15% below expected weight for height.

*7 models passed away the last year due to Eating Disorders

*Jennifer Aniston was exercising 8 hours a day while she was doing friends

*Friends Billboard promotion "the show with the cute anorexic chcks"

*Average magazine cover costs $60,000 to produce and 6 months of airbrushing

*Movies use waist widdlers and body doubles

*After a 3 year study of disordered eating, girls were 3x higher to have disordered eating if they had a TV in their bedroom.

*After only 3 minutes of looking at fashion magazines 70% of women feel depressed, guilty and shameful.

*Girls that read magazines are 6x higher for disordered eating.

*Breast implants have to be redone every 10  years. 72% get hard and rupture and leak

*Liposuction has to be done every 12-18months

*Plastic surgery compares to Eating Disorders, "If I do this then I will feel better."  It is never enough

*90% of all women diet on a regular basis.

*90% of diets fail after 1 year

*60% of Americans are overweight.

*2006, After intense study of all diets, the FDA couldn't find a reason to change the food pyramid.

*2/3 of Americans went on Atkins, dropped wight fast but gained back most of the weight.

*98% of diets fail after 5 years

*People that are successful at keeping the weight off, have a lifestyle change.

*dieters regain all weight lost plus 10%

*47-80% of men diet

*only 2% of women in the world call themselves "beautiful" japan 0% Brazil 6% (Brazil also has the highest plastic surgery rate)

*86% of women are dissatisfied with their bodies

*Only 7% of women expressed little concern with their appearance.

*8 out of 10 college women have diordered eating, 1 out of 4 have a full blown eating disorder.

*14% of 5 year olds diet

*50% of 9 year olds diet

*80% of 10 year olds diet {look at that jump from 9 to 10}

*90% of high school girls diet on a regular basis

*Girls need 35% body fat in order to menstrate for the first time.

*Diet Industry made 10 billion dollars in the 1970's

*Diet Industry estimates of 100 billion dollars in 2008

*Diet ads weren't allowed to airbrush pictures, and so they would hire personal trainers for the "after" pictures and they would pay them to gain weight for the "Before" pictures.

How to Love Your Body {by Kandis}
1. Stop the fat talk-those conversations that begin with "I was so bad last night...." and end with whose butt is bigger? "They're like secondhand smoke-you need to not be around them.  Talk about shoes, politics...anything but homany Doritios you ate.
2. Try going reflection free...resist the urge to check out your reflection in every shiny surface.
3. Be more tolerant.  We pride ourselves on tolerance in terms of race and religion, but heaven forbid someone should have a different body weight.  Research finds that 31% of women at healthy weight thought they were overweight compared with just 5% of men who thought of themselves as hefty.  We need to stop discriminating even against ourselves, and start supporting each other.
4. Wear "confidence" clothes.  Clothes that boost your confidence and that you are comfortable in.
5.Talk to yourself lik you're a friend.  Imagine if a friend said that you were disgusting and lacked self-discipline and that the wide state of Montana had nothing on your butt.  You'd want to slap her right?  Yet it is fine to say that about yourself?! NO WAY
6. Stop Weighing in.  Scales just ge you obessed.  "Oh I'm 5'7 and should weight this...as if there's a magical number that is going to make you feel good....Not having a scale is a free feeling.
7.Preach body love.  It will strengthen your own attitude.  Women with a negative self image who helped younger girls develop positive body image saw their own confidence imporve.
9.Get out your favorite photos that show that you are a fun outoging person.  Happy Photos!
10.Embrace yoru heritage.  You can feel good and look attractive without denying who you are.