Wednesday, December 19, 2012

More Tummy Talk

So yesterday (tuesday) I was sooooooooooooooooooo (breath) ooooooooooooo swollen!
I looked like I could have been about 4 months pregnant.
And my belly was really hard and when I pushed on it, it hurt so bad. OWIE!

Anyway I didn't want to be a whiner, but I told my mom and sister about it.  They told me "call the paid a lot of money for this surgery and that is what he is there for."  But I didn't want to.
BUT my sisters mom-in-law works for the surgeon so she called her...anyway short of the long...I went into the doctors office.

He poked my belly with a really long needle to try to get fluid out of my belly.
He didn't have any they took me back to the operating room and put back in a drain to allow my belly to drain.

I now look maybe 12 weeks the swelling is going down.

I can't wait till my belly is FLAT...eeek!

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Me and My Tummy

I am 13 days post op..yay....and I have decided to blog a little about my recovery from surgery.

The first few days (days 1-4) after surgery were the worst.
I remember saying to Dave "Why did I do this."  I even said "I want to die".
It was horrible.

Day 5 was turn around day.  I started to feel better and thought "I just might live".

Once my drainage tube was taken out on Day 8 I felt a lot better.  That thing is so bothersome.

In the days to follow I would have good days and bad days.  On the good days I felt like I could do a lot.  SO I DID.
The next day I felt like poo!  I knew I over did it.
I don't think I learned my lesson because I've done this twice now.

Today I noticed on my incision a possible site of infection, so I will going back to the surgeon today to have him check it.

HOWEVER....I may only be 13 days out but I can already say it has been worth it.
Although I am super swollen still I can see a huge difference.
I have a lot of life to live and I am excited that I can live it with more confidence.

I am praying these next 4 weeks go  by fast as I am tired of this binder I have to wear and I really would like to see the swelling go down.


Monday, December 10, 2012

Catching up on Buddy

Buddy the Elf is such a joy to have around our house.  I love that my girls love him so much.  Although when I was really down Buddy just hung low not causing much problems.  He was very considerate.
Here is a catch up on what he has done some of the time while he has been with us (some days I didn't record because I was down)record because I was down)

He was hungry
He loves Hot Cocoa

Stuck in the Ice Dispenser 

Love Notes

Love Notes

He Hijacked my Camera and did a photo shoot setting the camera on self timer.  Silly Elf

Pose 2
Pose 3 {Ta Da!}

WOWZA the splits

Elves Love Syrup
He turned our Milk Green

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

I am living.

Well folks, it's official I didn't die.
YAY I am alive!

Okay so what did I have done? And why did I do it?

I decided to have an elective surgery.
Some will say it's vanity others will say 'good for you'.
I don't think it's a good for you or  a vanity thing.  For me this surgery was necessary and vital to my emotional and mental health.

Okay out with it right?

I had a tummy tuck.

So to lay the rumors to rest I have decided to blog about it.

This is nothing I am embarrassed or ashamed about.

I think there's a lot of negative opinions about cosmetic surgery and that is fine but I should share my experience.

Here goes.

I have gained a lot of weight and lost a lot of weight numerous times.  With each weight gain I gained a lot of weight fast.  Now let's add two babies to the mix.  Say hello to more stretching.
Hang on there is more.
Then there is the rapid weight loss from my {former} eating disorder.

So when I decided to get in to shape this time I decided that it had to be 100% healthy.
I have been working really hard.

I have lost nearly 45+ pounds all by being healthy.  BUT I have really bad skin.
I have hardly no elasticity in my skin.  So the more weight I loss the more my belly would hang and sag.  It was hard to feel confident in my transformation when  I was so discouraged.  I was working so hard but felt like I was looking worse.
So I decided to take it to someone who could answer if they could help me.

I went to a fabulous plastic surgeon. {in Utah?  Need a referral?  He is fabulous and I highly recommend him} I was afraid that he would tell me that I wasn't ready or that he couldn't help me, but instead he was really filled with confidence that he could give me a good result.

You have to understand that I will never wear a bikini, or get a belly piercing.  It to me isn't about having a beach bod.  To me it's about getting rid of something that reminded me of the abuse I did to my body (both with eating disorder behaviors weight gain while recovering from the eating disorder).
I worked so hard to lose weight  y  ring healthy and it was so discouraging to not be able to see the results because the fat was hidden by saggy skin.

So I did it.  I had a tummy tuck.
It was hecka painful.
My surgery was a little more than 6 hours I think.
I currently feel like for 6 hours straight a group of gorillas beat me with clubs..having no mercy.  HOWEVER I no longer have a hanging belly and it is going to look amazing once the swelling goes down.

So there you have it.
I had a tummy tuck.  Not for vanity reasons but because it is something that I needed to do for my my emotional and mental health.
Although I am still in a lot of pain I am happy with my choice.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Buddy the Elf in the house!

On Sunday Buddy decided to spend a little time admiring the Baby Jesus.  The girls loved that he was kneeling.  I guess Buddy found it fitting for a Sunday.

Today Buddy was found in our theatre room playing the playstation.  Little gamer!

What will Buddy do next?

Saturday, November 24, 2012

We love our Elf.

Last year we got our elf Buddy.  We really enjoyed having Buddy around.  He was always into some kind of trouble or something crazy.  The girls love their elf.  They were so sad when he had to leave on Christmas Eve.  In fact Elle cried. :( Sad news right?!
Yesterday Buddy arrived! The girls were so excited.  He left them a note saying how much he missed them.  
Today he decided to take Barbie on a date. 
Clever little elf. 

Hopefully he will be an influence on my girls {cough cough Ava} to be good. 

Thursday, November 15, 2012


Okay what's your thoughts.

Elle came home from school today and was visibly upset.  When I asked her how her day was she said "Good if that means nobody will play with you." {yes please insert my heart breaking right here}

Me: "Why won't anyone play with you?"
Elle: "Because I am being bullied."
Me: "What? What is going on?"
Elle: "I am being bullied with their mouths."
Elle: "A.J keeps saying I talk like a baby and that I'm short. He say's I am weird. And he said 'whoever your mom is really messed you up!' "
{Insert little 8 year old princess weeping here}
Then she says to me
"I sometimes feel I wasn't meant to be on this earth."

Back when I grew up one would say "oh that boy teases you because he likes you."
Even if this is the case Elle doesn't see it this way.

What do I do?  She hasn't told the teacher.  Should I write the teacher a note?  Should I go visit with the teacher, should I put Elle in Karate?  Or am I overreacting?

Saturday, November 10, 2012

My little photographer

Elle loves the Reflection program at school and last year she entered a poem and won best in school.  This year she wanted to enter the photography contest.

So we got the form and saw the contest theme which was "Magic of the Moment".
She remembered a photo I did of her last year and she wanted to take that same concept.
She came up with the idea all by herself.
She wanted her photograph her sister reading a book and having magic coming out of it.  So she called it "Magic of a Story"

I set up my camera for her on automatic and told her how she would need to take the photograph.  I told her that she needed to make sure that her sister was in focus but the background wasn't.
I then gave her my camera and left my studio.

She took about 100 images and she picked this one.  Although it isn't super in focus I think it tells the story she wanted.  And let's face it...she's 8.

Her photo one the overall in school for the photography division.  I am so proud of her.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Forget Me Not

As I have contemplated the effects of this recent General Election and I've been scared...rather terrified I have had the calm feeling that my Heavenly Father has not forgotten me.

He knows how much I am worried.  He knows how much I worry for my family and how much I worry about our country.  However he has not forgotten us.   He knows and loves us.  He wants the best for us.  But we are to endure the trials that he places before us.

I try to live my life by the 13th Article of Faith
The part that I think is most profound here for this time is "We have endured Many things and hope to be able to endure all things..."
It is important for us to keep the commandments of God and endure the tests he gives us.

I also think about the the talk that Dieter F. Uchdorf gave when he spoke about the little forget me not flowers.

"As a child, when I would look at the little forget-me-nots, I sometimes felt a little like that flower—small and insignificant. I wondered if I would be forgotten by my family or by my Heavenly Father.
Years later I can look back on that young boy with tenderness and compassion. And I do know now—I was never forgotten.
And I know something else: as an Apostle of our Master, Jesus Christ, I proclaim with all the certainty and conviction of my heart—neither are you!
You are not forgotten.
Sisters, wherever you are, whatever your circumstances may be, you are not forgotten. No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you with an infinite love.
Just think of it: You are known and remembered by the most majestic, powerful, and glorious Being in the universe! You are loved by the King of infinite space and everlasting time!"

I know if I remember these things it will allow me to more fully live the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  That I might be an example of his greatness and that I will be prepared for when he reigns on the earth. 

I encourage all of you who are struggling to accept what we have been dealt as a nation to remember that you are not forgotten and that if you endure and keep an eye single to the Glory of God that all will be okay. 


Tuesday, November 6, 2012

God Bless America

Well as I it here in this beautiful back country town of Banner Elk in North Carolina in this beautiful bed and breakfast (where I might add I have the most fabulous room to myself) I am hanging out by myself thinking about our country.

Well the election has happened and it didn't go the way I voted :(
Nope Mitt Romney was not elected president.
I am beyond sad.
I cried.
I facetimed Dave and sobbed to him.

I worry about our freedoms, I worry about our lively hood, I worry about our country.

This made me put some things into perspective.
One it makes me have a stronger desire to do what I know is right.
I need to make sure I am doing everything I can to return to my Heavenly Father with my family.
That means I need to do my part.  I need to be better.
As I cried to Dave I told him of all the things we need to do better at.  We made stronger promises tonight to be better about our family priorities and our spiritual priorities.

And I am now putting my faith in God's hands.  He has the control now.
I have to have faith that he will guide us through.
I have to have faith that we will be okay.

I have to prepare myself and my family for the reign of my Savior Jesus Christ.
He is the ultimate ruler.  And he will reign and we need to be prepared.
He has not forgotten us and if we don't forget him then we will be prepared to meet him.

I pray for our country...and I ask you to pray for it too.

Still Lonely in North Carolina

So I made it to where I was headed and I'm not going to lie....I am still so lonely.  I haven't met any of the women yet.  I've been alone since yesterday and that bites.

I miss my littles, my hubby, my parents and my sisters.

This is why I could never live away from people.  Because I need people.  I drove nearly 3 hours to get to the location of the workshop and parts of the drive I felt like I was in the back woods of North Carolina.
I have to giggle at their 'mountains'.....I like to call them tall hills with trees.  We have mountains in Utah.  I am grateful for my mountains.

Well today is November 6th...obviously and it is election day.
I voted last week because Utah has early voting.
I voted for Mitt Romney and I don't care that I share it.
I am praying he wins the election because as a small business owner I am not sure we can have another 4 years of mister socialist Obama.  Yes I think he is a socialist.
I work so hard for what I have.  I don't relish in the thought that I have to work hard for me to support those who don't.
I am all for helping the needy but I don't want to support the lazy.

Okay moving on....
I am really hungry right now.
Kinda famished.
I need food.

Next..what if I hate this workshop?  That would suck :(
I hope I don't.

Okay that's all....I am now typing nonsense so I will sign off.
Till later.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Lonely in North Carolina

I few into Charlotte North Carolina today to spend the week shooting.
Tomorrow I will meet up with a group of women.
As for now I am alone in a swanky hotel in Charlotte.

Let me just say this, traveling alone is not fun.  I am lonely.
I miss my girls.  I miss my husband.  I miss my mom.  I miss my little sister.
I know right?! It's so silly that I haven't even been away from them for 24 horus and I already miss them.  I think part of this reason is because I am alone and that's not fun.

So here I am sitting in my hotel waiting for some room service to arrive because I am starving.  I haven't eaten today because I didn't want to buy anything on the airplane, because let's face it...I didn't want to pay for a over priced nasty sandwich and then my layover in Atlanta was not long.  By the time I got my rental car and got to my hotel I was starving.  But being alone I didn't really want to go out by myself.  SOOOO I decided to order in.

Tomorrow I will leave Charlotte and go to some little place north of here where I will meet up with other photographers for a workshop.

I'm praying I have a good time because right now this isn't very fun.

Okay that's all.

Thursday, November 1, 2012


It's official people...I am having surgery on November 29th.  I will not be working for the entire month of December.  (Okay well I'll do some editing and some online stuff..but no shooting)
I'm taking the month of December (the only month of the year I have) to recover.
I'm really anxious about the surgery but it will do so much for me and I believe my quality of life will be so much better.
Maybe if I'm brave enough I'll post pictures when all is said and done of the outcome.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Homemade Hot Chocolate

I'm tooting my own horn here. 
I just created out of my own little brain the best hot chocolate in the entire world. 
It was sweet and decadent and lovely and tasty and oh my pretty to look at. 
Soooo what did I do?

Well first off let me just say we have a dairy cow. 
We get 3 gallons of milk a day.  We have to do something with all this milk and cream we get.  So I put it to use tonight.

I used about 3 cups whole milk
1/2 cup heavy sweet cream (this stuff from our ever so generous cow is sweet...way sweet)
6 ounces of white bakers chocolate
1 tsp vanilla. 

IN a sauce pan I melted the white chocolate with about half the milk. 
I whisked it so it didn't burn. 
Then I added the remaining milk once it was melted. 
Then went in that luscious sweet cream (any heavy whipping cream will work) and vanilla.
I didn't ever bring it to a boil, but just until it was nice and steamy.  STEAMY....that's a great adjective.

 In the meantime I took some of that amazing cream and whipped it till it was stiff in a fluffy sort of way.  I did add a little sugar to the cream and a little vanilla. 

Next I found a pretty little white cup and filled it full of this awesome hot cocoa. 
Then I added a few dabs of that fluffy stuff and drizzled a little bit of carmel on top. 

It was amazing. 
No it wasn't amazing.  
It was extraordinarily spectacular!

Monday, October 22, 2012

Crew Cuts

I love J. Crew!
I love Crew Cuts! {J. Crew Kids for those who don't know}
So I went and bought Elle and Ava a few cute little outfits today...and I had to snap a few pictures.

Friday, October 19, 2012

My Vote

Ever since I was a student senator in college I have been really interested in politics.
I find my self leaning Republican in my views.  Which honestly is no surprise.  I am very conservative and I have a lot of traditional values.  So let's face it, I am a registered republican.
This election has been very interesting to me.  And although I am a republican I do want to hear what the other side has to offer in all races.  But I've heard enough now.
I am ready to vote!
The more I hear the more it solidifies who I will vote for.  I am not on the fence with any of my views this go round as I was during the last major election.
This go round I know who has my vote.

Why am I voting the way I am voting?
It's all about economy to me.
I don't care right now about international policy or women's rights this time around.  I care about our country.  I want to know that my children will have what I had.

I personally don't feel that our current president has done the job he was hired to do.
I am a business person and if I had an employee who didn't do the job hired to do I would have to let them go.  End of story.  At the start of his term he said if he didn't have the economy turning around by 3 years then he deserved to only be a one term president.  The way I see it we are worse off right now than we were 4 years ago.  SO my vote will go to the other guy.
See what he said here. 

Monday, October 15, 2012

If I could do it over again...

If I could do life over again I would stay at the age of 3 forever.
I am extremely serious about this.
I look at my 3 year old and think... "you have the best life ever"


Nothing is expected of you other than to color, pick up your toys and be cute.

You don't have to go to school yet

It's perfectly okay if you pee your pants on occasion. Hey accidents happen!

Being tickled is fun.

You can throw a fit when you don't want to share something and it's expected because it's your age.

Your clothes are picked out for you most of the time and your hair done for you.  What I wouldn't give for my own wardrobe and hair stylist.

You can play with barbies all day long if you would like.

You don't have to worry about what you are going to make for dinner.  You have your own chef! SWEET!

Hugs and Kisses is an acceptable payment.

You don't need a job.

You don't need to pay bills.

You don't need to worry about getting a speeding ticket.

You don't have homework.

Dandelions are not weeds, they are flowers.

Santa Claus is the coolest ever.

Your mom and dad hang the moon.

Life is great!

I would go back and be a 3 year old forever!!!

Friday, October 12, 2012

My Favorite Scent

I am addicted to perfume.  It's no lie.  I buy at least two bottles a month.  I love everything that smells good.

I want my house to smell good, my car, my kids, my hubby and me!

I think the reason for this is because I have so many memories tied to scents.  And let's just face it, I like to smell pretty.

Lately I have been in love with Jo Malone London.  The line is amazing and brings the hallelujah chorus singing!

Okay so what is it?
Jo Malone has a line of fragrances and each fragrance is more simple.
For example:
Vanilla, Grapefruit, Orange Blossom, English Pear...the list goes on.
Anyway you can create your own custom fragrance by how you combine and spray on your fragrance.  For example I have bought the all four of these (and several others) but I can spray on the vanilla first, and then the Orange Blossom and it will smell different then if I put on the Orange, then Vanilla.  It's amazing!  I get compliments all the time on my perfume.
It's fun to have your own scent!

If you're a scent lover like me and love to smell pretty find yourself some Jo Malone!

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

3rd Grader

I can't believe I have a third grader.  And at that we are already in the school year a few months.

Elle has her own personal style and was so determined on the first day of school to look the way she envisioned in her mind.
She told me she needed to look cool.  She picked her outfit and necklace and told me that she 'HAD' to wear her hair crimped.

She loves her teacher and has made many new friends.
Although one girl during the second week of school cut of a lock of Elle's hair.

These are her first day of school...on the doorstep pictures.
I love her.

Sunday, October 7, 2012


In July I applied to be on the board for the Miss Utah's Outstanding Teen Program.
I never in a million years thought this crazy girl would be considered.
But then I got news that I was selected to be on the board and I would be in charge of the Special Events and Workshops.  SWEEET! Official pageant party planner and fun do-er!

WELL we just had our pageant! And it was the best ever!
We had 23 amazing girls who bring such joy and life to our program.
We are so thrilled with how they did and excited for this new year with our program.

Because of the pageant I haven't posted for the last 3 days.
So don't think I became lame again and just decided not to pst anymore because that would be lame.
And I am far from lame. BWAHHHHHHAAA!


Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Look for the positive.

I have always been a positive person and I have realized as of lately my personal life has brought me down.
Later in the summer I felt a little rocked by some personal things and so everything seemed so bad and so big.
I am daily making the effort to stop looking for the bad and look for the good.  I have noticed that when I do this my days seem lighter, my troubles seem less and I feel better about myself.
Although I am still struggling with these things and am trying not to focus on them and instead I am trying to find the positive in all things.

It feels good to be happy.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup

 I love homemade chicken noodle soup.
My girls love this stuff too.

My mom used to make this when we were growing up and the noodles are heaven!
I make double the noodles because they are so good.

I don't have a specific recipe for this, I just kinda make it now so I will do my best to give you a good recipe.

Cook it, and cut it up.  However much chicken you like in your soup.  A couple cups will do.

Onions, Celery, Carrots
A cup or two of each will do.

 Put your chicken and veggies in a pot, fill with chicken stock and water.  I like using chicken stock instead of just water for added flavor.

Bring it to a boil...
In the meantime.

Make your noodles.

and I like to add a little bit of garlic season...ranch packets are good and so is lemon pepper.

A couple cups of flour, 1-2 eggs, Milk, a dash of salt and a bit of seasoning.

Mix it all together to make a dough.
Sometimes you will need to add more flour or milk.
You can't mess it up.

 Flour a surface and allow a rag-a-muffin child to help you roll out the dough
1/8 inch thick is good.

Use a pizza cutter to cut into noodle strips.

Add raw noodles into hot, mildly boiling soup and allow to cook for about 10 minutes or so.
The noodles do not take long to cook.

Serve in a pretty bowl and watch the steam rise.

It's so yummy!

I will be making this again tonight!
It's fall ya'll!