Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Bad Mom?! Yes I think I am

I think I am a bad mom. NOt for obvious reasons though.  But for reasons that some might think "you're lame" about.

For example, I don't take things serious.
Like homework.  I mean I make Elle do her homework and her reading, and spelling and math...but really sometimes homework doesn't get done until just before bedtime because I have let her play all evening.

My kids are in dance class but they are only in their 2nd year.  I thought I would be the type of mom (since I was a dancer myself) to have my girls in dance the second they were walking...but you know what I'm not.  My kids aren't dance prodigies and it makes me feel like a bad mom.  If I put them in dance when it was 'the thing to do' at age out ....of the womb... maybe they would be amaze-ball dancers...but they aren't...they are just learning.

I let my kids watch TV A LOT!  And honestly I don't care!  They enjoy playing outside and they love to play barbies and dress up and jump on the trampoline (yay warm weather) but if they want to watch Good Luck Charlie, I let them.  According to a lot of people I should limit their TV watching, but I don't....and I'm not to sad about that.  I mean I don't let them rot their brains out...but I sometimes use TV as a babysitter.

If my kids don't want breakfast I don't make them eat it.

I let my kids stay up till 9:00 on a school night and they really don't have a bedtime on a weekend.

If Ava doesn't want to take a bath I don't make her...soon enough she stinks herself out.

My kids have gadgets...lots of gadgets.  And I don't make them earn their gadgets.

I bribe my kids... A LOT.

 I don't say no to a lot of things.  (unless it's going to hurt them, or someone else)

I am a bad mom and I know it.
I want my kids to be kids so that is why I might put off homework till just before bedtime...because I want them to enjoy their childhood playtime.

I want them to enjoy what childhood has to offer. If they want to watch TV, or play on their iPads or stay up late I let them.

I don't want to force them into growing up faster than they have to.

So while many think my way of raising my children makes me a bad mom, I say it lets me enjoy them in the way I know how.  Right now I have Elle's homework sitting next to me and I know she needs to do it, but as I look out the door I see her and Ava and their cousin Alexa dancing and laughing in this blissful spring weather and to me not forcing her to do her homework at a decent hour is just the kind of mom I want to be.  One day I hope my kids reflect back on their childhood with laughter and joy and not memories of a overly stuffy and controlling mom, but they will say to me "you were a good mom"  and I can in the now cherish my kids as what they are... kids.

So if all this makes me a bad mom...I'll take it.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013


Years and years ago my grandpa (my momma's dad) and his sister (my momma's aunt) had a fight/agreement/tiff and stopped talking to each other.  (We are talking 20 nearly 30 years ago)
Well because of this our families never got to know each other.
UNTIL Facebook.
Through Facebook we were reunited with my moms cousin and her darling girls.  We were thrilled.  I vaguely remember one family gathering when we were little and meeting these girls who were me and my sisters ages and then never getting to meet them again.  I remember thinking at the time "cute new friends" (you know I'm all about friends).  But then the falling out happened.
....back to the story... So we reconnected with them through facebook and it has been so wonderful.
We have been able to follow each other on Instagram and Facebook and really start to get to know each other a little bit.
So my sisters and mom and I decided to give my niece Ashlee a bridal shower and we wanted to invite our cousins. SO WE DID!
I can't ever begin to find the words to tell you how amazing it was to hug them and to laugh and to get to know them more.
They seem so much like us.  They laugh at the things we do, they have fun stories and a great sisterhood.
We visited for quite some time and really enjoyed ourselves.
When it was time to say goodbye we vowed we WILL be getting together often to catch up, get to know each other and to right the wrong that our grandparents made.  We love our grandparents dearly we just wish we could have known each other for the past 30 years.  Hopefully our children..this up and coming generation will be friends with their extended family.

I feel so blessed to have them now in my life.  I can feel that our family puzzle is no longer so scattered but coming together in a beautiful way.

What have I learned from this?  (or what can all of us learn) Don't allow a bitter fight/grudge/argument pull apart generations.  You may feel like you're the only who will be hurt but you will hurt your children and their children and you will take away something beautiful from them the chance to get to know those who our Heavenly Father put us together to be a family with.