Sunday, August 28, 2011

One large order of McHappiness Please!

Don't you sometimes wish you could go to the drive up window and say "I would like one large order of the McHappiness.....Supersize it? SURE!"

Last week I had the biggest party for myself ever! NOBODY came...but I didn't want anyone to come to my party.  I wanted to sit at my party all by myself and have a big cup of loser-ade, YES.. it was a fantastic pity party. HOSTED for me, by ME...and for nobody else but me.

You see I decided to throw this massive party when I let other people tell make me feel bad about myself.  Notice the word I used. LET. 
I am perfectly aware that I can choose how people will make me feel...and I LET people make me feel like a big steaming pile of poo. 

The party ended and I cleaned up the pity party favors which included a bag full of why me's and dumped the loser-ade down the drain and said "Thanks for coming to my party Kandis, now get out."

And with that I drove to my own little drive thru  stand of "McLife" and saw that there was a giant menu of options and I GOT TO PICK! YES ME! AND ONLY ME.  I decide what I want.
So I decided that one large order of McHappiness I was going to have.  I've also decided on a side of McOptimism, McLaughter and a cup full of McJoy.

I've also decided that I have to make daily stops at McLife to make my order, but I GET TO DECIDE, and every day I decide the same thing.  So it is that sometimes the server at the drive up window can be a meanie pants but I still ordered a McHappiness!  BUT GUESS WHAT? Sometimes they give me a order of McSadness instead, but I still have my McOptimism and McLaughter in the bag.  So the McSadness is easier to take. 

Life is good regardless of what we are given at the drive thru of life, it is up to us decide how we are going to look at it. 

Pitty Party OVER.

Enjoy a few photos of a resent shoot I did of my niece Teri Dawn.


Thursday, August 18, 2011

Someone to everyone.

I have a big character flaw I think....that is that I feel like I need to be someone to everyone.
I feel the need to be liked by everyone and obviously that's not the true case.

You see as I've grown with my business I've gained a lot of fans, and quite a few haters too.
For some reason these haters feel like it's their obligation to tell me just how pitiful I am.
I know I need to get a tough skin, but it's so hard!
I know this all goes back to my ED problems and now that I don't have ED to cover up the hurt and pain it is right here on my sleeve.  I've actually thought of going back to therapy because I'm not sure how to deal with the hurt without covering it up.  
I really want people to like that to much to ask?
(would you believe it if I said I am actually crying?! cause I am.)

Anyway.....I needed to throw myself a pitty party for a second.
Don't talk me out of it.
If I'm going to be back blogging, I'm going to blog about the good and the bad...maybe this is a way I can deal with it all.
(just giving you that warning)

Oh here's a few pictures of my littles.


Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Exorcism Episodes.

Oh my goodness, so my Ava is the hardest child lately.  
She is no longer going through the terrible two tantrums...she is having EXORCISM EPISODES!
And I just don't know what to do about it.
She gets this really enormous monster cry/scream/growl thing started and she won't stop for hours!
I just try to ignore it because there is no reasoning with her.  Reasoning with Ava is like reasoning with a goldfish.
So I tried to avoid anything that might trigger an exorcism, but everything triggers it.

Now I'm not trying to compare kids, but Elle was just so easy and this NEVER happened.
So with this one I just kinda feel like I'm blind.

I feel like I'm a good momma, but when this happens I wonder how someone can be a good parent to a possessed child.  When I feel like I want to scream at her (I don't, but I want to).

Any suggestions would be great.  And I'll even give you a virtual hug!


Sunday, August 14, 2011

I'm gonna do it....AGAIN!

So I miss blogging, for real!
I used to be great at blogging, but then I kinda got the wind knocked out of my so to say.
Although I've been crazy busy and so I use this excuse as to why I don't blog much anymore there is another reason why this cute lil' blog has been neglected.

When I was at my peek of blogging I was also at my unhealthiest.  (With my eating disorder) and at that time I got a lot of blog stalkers whom I didn't know.  In this time they would leave me really mean spirited comments....but I still kept on blogging my little bum off. 

As I started to heal and get healthy I realized how badly that was hurting in an subconscious move I kinda just stopped blogging.

But guess what people?!  Although I'm still miffed by the negativity I got and seriously really busy.  I have decided that I enjoyed blogging and sharing with others.  SO...guess What?!  I'M BACK!

Now I just got to think of something to blog about!