Wednesday, August 18, 2010

A milestone!


It has been exactly six months since I've engaged this ED behavior.  
It does not go without saying it hasn't been easy.  

MONTH one was the most painful month.  Entertaining ED...disobeying ED.....ignoring ED.

MONTH two was moderate

MONTH three was amazing, I found a new passion, a new purpose, new goals, and a new direction.  I focused my energy on become who the Lord wants me to become.  Not who society, the media and even friends and family expect; but who I know I need to be and want to be.

MONTH four was a struggle.  A few bumps in the path, and a few pot holes in the comfortable road.  I learned to switch roads this month.  I learned that "others" garbage I don't need even my own loved ones.

MONTH five I worried about my appearance a lot.  Bathing suit season is not my friend.  But that is what ED wants me to feel that I shouldn't do things I want to do...including swimming because of my body.  I told him to get lost, and went swimming was liberating.

MONTH six has made me realize that I am meant to do hard things.  These has been the absolute hardest months.  ON the inside I am worrying about what people will think of my body, on the outside I try to stay confident.

I have to remain "in-check" and remain aware of triggers and other situations that may set me back to Day one again.  I am learning to live in the moment and to be mindful of how my body feels, and how my mind feels.

I can't wait to say 



Ashley Barnum said...

Way to go Kandis! I have no doubt that you'll keep heading in a positive direction.

Kristi said...


Heidi and Tony said...

That is awesome Kandis!

Sarah said...

I'm so proud of you! Love you.

mh said...

Way to go Kandis! Keep it up. I know you have bad days, but look at you go! 6 months already, and it will hopefully just keep getting easier. When I read this, it made me think of David (and Goliath)! I love that story. David- the small guy in everyone elses eyes, was the the one the Lord chose! 1 Samuel 16:7! The Lord looketh on the heart! That is what really matters! He is the one that really counts.
That was long, but you rock! Keep it up!