Sunday, April 22, 2012

I am who I am.

I find myself trying so hard to impress people who will never acknowledge me allowing me to give myself the chance to impress them.  That's a character flaw that I am pretty sure I will never change.
I've tried many times to do it, and you know what? Over and over again I find myself doing it again.
I find myself in the depths of trying to impress those who don't know I exist or that don't even have any interest in me.
I think that is my blogging problem.  I feel as if I should only blog things that are of interest or that will spark people to comment.  I feel as if I should only put out there what I want to impress people with, but behind all this I just want to post how I feel and not to suppress all that I really am.
We all want to be validated and that is my biggest character flaw, I NEED to be validated.  
Unfortunately this is my down fall, this is my biggest weakness.
I find myself wanting to invest in friendships that have no loyalty or real reason to invest in me.
I find myself wanting to impress those who don't impress easy. 
I find myself not showing all the little things that really makes me, me.
I have been so worried with how others would perceive me that I feel that I am really not being authentic.

Yes I know; like I said, this is a character flaw.  But I figure the only way to fix it is to try a little harder to be me authentically and I will grow to love me more and not need the validation of others to feel of worth.


Heidi said...

You are not alone! I think everyone wants to be noticed and praised. As a child, our characters are sculpted by how we get attention. I don't think your desire to be noticed is a flaw but a natural form of life. For crying out loud! That's why facebook is so popular. Don't be so hard on yourself, maybe pay yourself some of the attention you're seeking. You are so amazing! Give yourself more credit :) I don't think you realize how many people are intimidated by your awesomeness!

Danielle said...

it's hard when you're excited about something, or have an interest in something, and then you post (or talk) about it, and get little feedback. i totally get it. you want people to be excited about what you're excited about, right?

and you like a challenge. (i do too.)

you're awesome. you're admitting it's a flaw, but you wouldn't be who you are without it. right? so, as long as you try not to let it hold you back, own it!!

Carolyn said...

Wanting to be recognized for your efforts is human nature, but don't let it determine your self worth. I try to work on this every day, because the only people's opinions that REALLY matter are those of your husband and children!