Friday, March 13, 2009

What does that sign say lady?

Pet Peeve #3 (and yes it happens at the grocery store)
Hypothetical story
You are enjoying your evening with your handsome/beautiful someone (don't feel bad if your special someone isn't much eye candy...this can still apply to you too....or if you are currently "dating around" yeah we all know what that means...this applies to you as well)...okay back to the "hypothetical story". You are spending a lovely evening with your hottie and you remember "oh poop" or "crap"...or another four letter have forgotten something at the store...and you need it tomorrow morning. So you decided to make a quick trip over to the land of many shopping carts. You swiftly bustle through the isles grabbing those few necessities that you need. You don't even bother with a grocery hauler that takes to much time...instead you pile everything in your arms as you dodge small children. As you make your way up to the front of the culinary center cash wrap...aka grocery store checkout you spy what appears to be a line for Hannah Montana tickets. Check again folks not Hannah Montana, it's just Mohanna Motana the cashier...and that his her line...the ONE AND ONLY line. Oh wait another line opens's the Jonas Bro' nope not them's just a kid who needs a haircut. Everyone rushes to his line too. Lucky for have less then 20 marvelous finds. So you say to everyone in your kind thoughts "ha ha suckers...I get to go to the self check out...cause I only have 8 treasures....don't you wish you were me?" As you meander over to the sparkling self checkout you get cut off by skinny girl wearing too much makeup...big hair and last years boots....and she has 70 generic cans of soup, 35 bottles of Suave shampoo, Two giant boxes of super plus tampons (sorry boys) 5 12 packs of diet coke...with lime...and a partridge in a pear tree. "What the...*insert any four letter word here*."
"HELLO LADY 20 items or less." You wish you had the balls to actually tell her that but you think that she will get the hint. Instead she smiles at you with her white teeth and chapped lips...and starts to scan her 1st soup can out of 70. You start telekinesis...and hope she is in tune to your super powers. Nope...she's not...she is definitely not a super hero like yourself. 30 minutes later it's your turn! YAHOO! Now only if the lady in the computer would stop saying "please remove last item from bag..." "wait for an attendant".
Finally your debit is accepted and you leave the death chamber...(yes it took so long you thought you would die there) only to remember you left your bag on the checkout stand. You ask your now ornery self "to go back or not to go back". You decide to go back! What was meant to be a 10 minute visit to the land of the cake mixes...was more like an hour visit. All because some skinny, soup eating, big hair do fixin', suave shampoo use'n, diet coke drinkin', last years boots wearin', chapped lip smilin' broad didn't ever learn to read!
Did this happen to me? um... Hypothetical remember?!


jenjen said...

HA! That is a funny story! And SOOO true! It's enough to drive me crazy. People are so oblivious!!!

Thanks for the giggle!


Amanda Bishop said...

What a fun blog Lady! I could possibly have you knit some things for me. Email me and I can show you stuff I am looking at doing. THANKS!