Sunday, June 13, 2010

Sometimes I just wanna......

But oh no I can't!
Too many people would hear!

Today has been an emotional day!  I really can't explain why and I really don't want too...but I can say that it has made me sad.

So I've been doing really good with my ed.  I haven't purged (yes you know what I mean) for four months!!!! This is a very good thing.  I have been filling my life with things I love and things that make me happy.  HOWEVER today has kinda taken a big hit to my self esteem and I have wanted to purge so bad!!!! I just keep thinking it will make me feel better about myself, but then I know afterwards I will feel even worse.  I can't ever win.

So I am trying my hardest to stay away from the bathroom....i've even peed with the door open (yes tmi!)

I don't want to throw these 4 months away...but I just feel so bad about myself now.

DEBBIE DOWNER....OH JEEZE....Sorry friends! 

I'm way sad so I'll leave you with a little

1 comment:

The Wonderful World of Wampler said...

Hang in there dear friend. Like you said, as much as you really want know that it will only make you feel worse. Just remember you have lots of family and friends that are cheering you on. You are strong and can do this. :)

Without sharing to much only suggestion would to be to fall on your knees and beg for help. :) Pound on the doors of heaven, plead for help, I promise it will come. You will find strength deep inside of you, you may have never known you had.

I know it hard to do, but try to remember who's opinions really count. Your husband, your children and family. I bet they all think you are prefect and great. :)

Keep your head up and hang in there.